How Siblings Are Affected When a Child Has a Disability — and What Parents Can Do

When a child in the family has a disability, the conversation almost always centers on that child — their diagnosis, their services, their needs. That is appropriate. But the siblings who grow up alongside them are also being shaped by the experience in ways that deserve attention.

Research on siblings of children with disabilities tells a nuanced story. There are real challenges. There are also remarkable strengths. And there are things parents can do — grounded in evidence — to support all of their children through what is genuinely a complex family experience.

This post draws on published research to present what is known, what helps, and where to find additional support. It is not a substitute for guidance from a qualified mental health professional who knows your family — but it is a starting point for the conversation.

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What Research Tells Us About the Sibling Experience

A 2025 systematic review published in the journal Developmental and Physical Disabilities examined 60 studies involving more than 10,000 participants and found that the sibling experience is genuinely mixed — neither uniformly positive nor uniformly negative.

Positive aspects consistently reported include:

• Warm, loving sibling relationships
• Higher levels of empathy and prosocial behavior compared to peers
• Greater tolerance for difference and diversity
• A sense of purpose and maturity that many siblings describe as a gift in retrospect

Challenges consistently reported include:

• Feelings of isolation or being different from peers
• Reduced parental attention and time during periods of high caregiving demand
• Anxiety, worry about the future, and questions about what will happen to their sibling as adults
• In some families, a pattern researchers call "parentification" — taking on adult-level responsibility for the sibling or for managing parental stress

The same review noted that the presence of challenges does not predict poor outcomes. Family environment, communication, and available support significantly moderate how siblings are affected. (Source: Siblings of Persons with Disabilities: A Systematic Integrative Review, PMC, 2025)

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The "Perfect Child" Pattern

One of the most commonly observed patterns in siblings of children with disabilities is what researchers and clinicians sometimes call the pressure to be perfect. Siblings — particularly older ones — may unconsciously try to reduce their parents' burden by becoming exceptionally compliant, high-achieving, or emotionally self-sufficient.

This pattern is worth knowing about because it often goes unnoticed. The child who is "no trouble at all" may actually be suppressing real emotional needs in an effort to protect the family.

According to Project Play Therapy, a children's mental health organization, siblings often benefit most when they are explicitly given permission to have their own needs, make mistakes, and not be perfect. (Source: How to Support Siblings of Children with Special Needs, projectplaytherapy.com)

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What Helps: Evidence-Based Approaches

Open, honest family communication.

Research consistently identifies family communication as one of the most protective factors for siblings. Children with disabled siblings are best supported when families are proactive about acknowledging siblings' feelings — including feelings of isolation, jealousy, or grief — rather than waiting for problems to emerge.

According to research cited by ParentCo., children whose parents create consistent opportunities for open and honest communication are more likely to develop resilience and have positive sibling relationships over time. (Source: 5 Ways to Support Siblings of Children with Special Needs, parent.com)

Practical application: create regular one-on-one time with each sibling where the conversation is about them — not about the child with the disability or family logistics.

Validating all emotions without judgment.

Siblings sometimes feel guilty for experiencing negative emotions — resentment, embarrassment, frustration, or sadness. When parents respond to these feelings with reassurance rather than redirection ("you shouldn't feel that way"), children are more likely to continue communicating rather than internalizing.

Not assigning adult-level caregiving responsibility.

Research identifies "parentification" — placing age-inappropriate caregiving responsibilities on siblings — as a risk factor for emotional difficulties. Age-appropriate involvement in a sibling's life is healthy; ongoing responsibility for their care or for managing parental wellbeing is not. (Source: Siblings of Persons with Disabilities: Systematic Review, PMC, 2025)

Sibling support programs.

Structured programs specifically designed for siblings of children with disabilities have a meaningful evidence base. A 2016 study published in PubMed found that group-based sibling support programs were associated with improved emotional and behavioral functioning in participants. The Sibshops program — a nationally available peer support model developed by the Sibling Support Project — is one of the most widely researched and consistently positive interventions available. (Source: Support group programme for siblings, PubMed, PMID 26728633)

Find Sibshops programs at siblingsupport.org.

Family-based support rather than individual treatment alone.

Research has suggested that interventions that include the whole family tend to be more effective for siblings than individual treatments that address only the sibling in isolation. If a sibling is struggling significantly, a family therapist or child psychologist with experience in disability-related family dynamics is better positioned to help than a general counselor who does not understand this context. (Source: How to Support Siblings, projectplaytherapy.com)

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When to Seek Professional Support

This post provides general information based on published research. Every family is different, and every child responds differently to their circumstances.

Consider consulting a qualified child psychologist or family therapist if a sibling:

• Shows persistent signs of anxiety, sadness, or withdrawal
• Has significant behavioral changes at home or school
• Expresses consistent resentment, fear, or despair about the family situation
• Is taking on caregiving responsibilities that seem beyond their age and developmental stage
• Asks questions about their sibling's future that feel overwhelming or distressing

A mental health professional who has experience working with siblings of children with disabilities is best equipped to evaluate what is happening and recommend an appropriate course of action. Your child's pediatrician can provide referrals.

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The Sibling Relationship Has Its Own Value

Research is clear that sibling relationships in families affected by disability are not simply a source of burden. They are often a source of profound connection, growth, and meaning — for both children.

The sibling of a child with a disability often develops qualities — empathy, perspective, resilience, advocacy — that shape who they become in lasting and positive ways. Many adult siblings describe their experience as one of the most formative and ultimately enriching parts of their lives.

That does not mean the hard parts should be minimized. It means that the full picture is more complex and more hopeful than any single narrative captures.

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Supporting Your Whole Family

The Government Benefits Checklist identifies respite care and family support programs that can reduce the caregiving burden on the whole family — including siblings who may be absorbing more than their share.

If you are navigating this as a family, you do not have to do it without support. Resources exist. Use them.

See all resources at Special Clarity →

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The information in this post is for general educational purposes only and draws on published research as cited throughout. It does not constitute mental health or medical advice. Every child and family situation is unique. If you have concerns about a sibling's wellbeing, please consult a qualified mental health professional.

Research sources cited in this post:

• Siblings of Persons with Disabilities: A Systematic Integrative Review — PMC 2025
• Well-Being and Mental Health of Siblings of Children with Intellectual Disability — PMC 2025
• Support group programme for siblings of children with special needs — PubMed
• How to Support Siblings of Children with Special Needs — Project Play Therapy
• 5 Ways to Support Siblings of Children with Special Needs — ParentCo.